Note: I wrote this over a month ago at the start of the year but I messed up and forgot about it so I’m going to fill this post with notes about how I’ve failed
2016 is finally over but unfortunately I foresee 2017 being even worse. Sorry to break it to you. It’s only the beginning of the year and I’m really stressed out. I’ve got so much to do and I don’t want to do it so I’m procrastinating. GOOD JOB BREANNA. I need to get some work done.
The thing about the new year is that people always think that this year something will change even though it has never happened before. I know this and I’m still hoping for change. Oh well I’ll just keep living life.
Somehow I am still determined that this will be my year. I am still telling myself that I AM GOING TO CHANGE and all the change is going to come from this quote:
I am going to be myself
You know how people always tell you to be yourself but it’s really hard to do that? I definitely do but somehow I’m still determined to be myself. All my resolutions this year are based off of that quote.
1. I am going to wear what I want
This might sound really stupid because it seems like I do that already. In a way I do dress the way that I want but I still don’t. I let they way other’s think of me control what I wear. I am embarrassed to wear a bunch of clothing for who knows why. This year if I want to wear a shirt with a stupid meme on it or a really bright lipstick I will. I WILL NOT BE EMBARRASSED FOR WEARING WHAT I WANT!
Note: I have an Etsy wishlist full of shirts that I would wear but I have no money
Note: I made this shirt but my mom doesn’t think it’s appropriate for school because “sexuality shouldn’t be talked about at school”. Guys, SEXUALITY NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT AT SCHOOL!!!! It’s really important to talk about so that people can get educated.
2. Answer some questions in class
I am so embarrassed to answer questions in class. There are so many times that I want to but of course I’m too scared. Half the time nobody in my class knows the answer and it’s so obvious to me but I just keep quiet.
Note: The only question I’ve answered so far has been in religion class. I gave the most controversial answer I could muster and that is “humans have a system of beliefs like gender and religion”.
3. Join a book club
For years I’ve been embarrassed of joining a book club because reading is commonly thought of a ‘uncool’ and I didn’t want to be thought of as any more ‘uncool’. I recently found out that a bunch of my friends are part of a book club so I’m going to see if I can join!
4. Make more friends
It is a well known fact with the people that know me that I’m really shy. I am scared of people. I’m not saying that I have to become a social butterfly, I just need to talk to some people who I wouldn’t normally talk to and try to build relationships I already have into friendships.
Note: I’ll make more friends in my English and Media Arts classes because it seems like they have cool people. Like this girl in my English class was with us at Winterlude to see Coleman Hell with us on Friday so I’ll definitely talk to her.
5. Be happy
I stopped writing this post an hour ago and I’ve just been laying here doing nothing except thinking about how unhappy I am. That happens a lot and I’m just going to try and stay happy. I’m going to do stuff that makes me happy.
Note: I’m trying guys. I really am but it’s hard
6. I want to run down the hallway at school screaming High School Musical lyrics
This has been something that I’ve wanted to do for so long but I’m wayyyyy too scared to do this. I was thinking of maybe getting some friends together and flash mobbing it… maybe… Well now plans are being made in my mind.
Note: Not yet but one day
7. Post what I want on my blog
Don’t worry I’m still going to be a book blog… mostly. I’ll post book reviews and sometimes Top Ten Tuesday but I’ll also be talking about TV, music and real life. I feel as if a lot of my posts are fillers and I want to change that with writing about something I’m more passionate about.
Note: I haven’t been posting much but I’ll fill your feed with book reviews and shit soon.
I’ve been writing this year. I downloaded Wattpad and have been publishing poetry. I’ve planned a story that I want to write. Honestly it’s just so fun and an easy way to let out emotions and stuff like that.
Note: I added this right before I published this post.
I hope that I can fulfill all these goals so that I can truly be myself. Even if I don’t specifically complete these goals I am going to try to be myself. I hope that you can also be yourself this year. Happy New Year!